I well remember the first time I saw him, I was just two months into my sixteenth year.  I thought him kind of cute, but definitely too old for me- he had to be at least twenty one. Almost an old man. 
     My brother had brought him home so that my brother could change clothes and eat supper.  I sat on the sofa watching t.v. and half doing my homework, but keeping my eye on him just the same.
     I don't really know what it was that got my attention, other than the fact that I was two months into my sixteenth birthday and bored beyond belief. I didn't really think he noticed me that much as he was talking with my mother and never seemed to even glance my way. Which of course was perfectly ok with me as I wasn't the least bit interested in an "old" man. 
     My brother finished up his supper and changed his clothes while my mom, my brother, and the new one were standing around doing the small talk thing and headed for the door. 
     Suddenly, I feel these eyes upon me. I look up, thinking, "Why was he looking at me?" 
     "You want to go?" he said. 
     "Go where?" I said rather nonchalantly. 
     "To the movies." he said. 
     I could see the look of horror on my brother's face. 
     "No," I simply said. 
     "You sure?" he asked again. 
     I looked up at him again and said in my most grownup voice, "I said "NO" and thought. "that should take care of that." "How old are you?" this man asked. 
     "I'm sixteen and two months," I said proudly. 
     "Humph," was all he said. 
     Finally off they went to the movies while I buried my burning face into to World Geography.

     As soon as they left I excused myself and took my books into my bedroom. I know my mother was in shock that I was actually doing homework without being told. But that wasn't quite what I was doing. I was lying there on my bed looking out the window; I turned out the lights and stared into the darkness wondering what was wrong with me. He wasn't even nice he was downright rude. What business of his how old I was. I fell asleep wondering how old he was and if he had a girlfriend...

     The next afternoon when I stepped off the bus at my house I knew the answer to what had been bothering me. His Mustang was in our drive. 
     "Be cool, don't act friendly," I warned myself all the way up the walk. 
     He was sitting on the front porch with my mother and my brother no where to be seen. 
     I politely walked right by him and started in the door and just as I had almost made it he said, "So Miss  Sixteen and two months how are you today?" 
     I know my face turned every shade of red in the book. I just turned and glared at him, "I hope you are here to see my brother, because if you aren't you have wasted your time and mine!" 
     "That should do it," I thought as I went on into the house. 
     I put away my books, got a Fresca from the fridge and of course went back on the porch. 
     I crashed down in the porch swing showing all of my sixteen year old manners and lady like ways. 
     "So what are you doing here?" I asked him. 
     He studied me for a minute and my spine went berserk. 
     "I thought you might like to go to the movie tonight, since you didn't get to go last night," he said. 
     I looked at my mama and thought NO way that was going to happen. She looked at me and lo and behold said words that sealed my fate.
     "YOU can go if you want to. Your brother says he can be trusted and I have grilled him pretty good this afternoon." 
     My God how long had he been there? (I wouldn't know the answer to that question for about a year) 
     So, what's a girl to do? I mean he did have a Mustang and he was cute, he was just so old. 
     "Well, when do you want to go?" I asked. 
     "Tonight," he said, never taking his eyes off mine. 
     What is with this spine thing I am thinking, it's jelly.

     He took me to see Shaft. He sat very gentlemanly all through the movie, popcorn, coke, and even some Milk Dud's. After the movie he looked at his watch and said, "We have about an hour before you have to be home. Do you want to go for some ice cream?" 
     "Sure, whatever," was what I'm thinking at this point. Maybe the spine thing wasn't anything to concern my self with after all. 
     We went to Dairy Queen where he went to purchase a couple of Vanilla Cokes and I watched him from the window. Dang spine there it went again. He gets in the car and starts to talk. Wanting to know all about me. 
     Finally, I said to him, "How old are you and why don't you work?" 
     He laughed and said, "Well I do work. I'm in the Air Force and I'm home on leave. I am 21 and 1 month." 
     21, 21, 21... 
     Had my mother gone nuts? I am barely 16 and she let me leave the house with a 21 year old Air Force Man? Geeeez, what was happening to the world as I knew it?
     We finished our drinks while I talked about playing basketball and friends at school and he listened and constantly watched me. Finally I said so what are you doing in the Air Force. 
     He said something to me at the time that meant nothing, but would someday bring tears to my eyes at "my childishness." "I'm going to Viet Nam." 
     He said as casually as if he were talking of going next door. I knew what it was, I knew where it was, I just never knew anyone that had gone and come back. 
     Finally it was time for me to head to the hill and we drove with the window's down in cool night air. When we got to my house the lights were out except for a small light in the window of my mother's room. He walked me to the door and in my infinite wisdom of my sixteen years and two months looked at him and said, "Good night." 
     With one swift movement I was in his arms. 
     I had been kissed before at parties and drive in, but this was something totally beyond what I had experienced. I surely thought I would not be able to walk the rest of the way in the door. 
     "So, Miss Sixteen and two weeks, want to go out again?" 
     I was frozen in my tracks. I couldn't talk, couldn't move and that spine problem....GONE! I had none left. I was in two seconds flat head over heels, madly forever, truly, not a chance of leaving that spot in a million years in LOVE.
     He gently brushed the hair from my eyes and said, "Go on inside, before I forget my manners." 
     I left him standing outside the door looking at me again and Mama yelled out from her room,"That you Kat?"
     "Yes ma'am," I could barely utter. 
     "Going to bed see you tomorrow ok?" 
     I got to my room, turned on my radio and lay across my bed in the dark looking out the window. MY GOD what was that? And what am I going to do? 
     The next day was Friday and when I went to get on the bus my friend said, "There's someone over there waiting for you. Who is he?" 
     I looked and there was the Mustang. I just started walking, not caring if I had told the driver I wasn't riding or if he cared. I got into the car and we left the school, taking the back road long way home. I didn't know what to say, what to do. I was scared, nervous and anxious all at once. What if he kissed me, what if he didn't?
     Oh the turmoil of sixteen and 2 months. 
     He stopped just before a little wooden bridge about 5 miles from home and pulled the car over to the side of the road and got out. He came around to my side and opened the door. He held out his hand and said, "Come here." 
     I was once again in that place where the sixteen year old and the woman inside me were fighting it out to the death. The woman won. We didn't make love, but I have never been kissed like that before and at 48 can say I haven't been since. Someone had taught this man to kiss and kiss good. I had no legs, I was weightless. He was ever inch a man and I was putty in his hands. Don't get me wrong it wasn't like he took advantage of me. He was the most loving, caring, kindest, gentlemen in the world, he just made me nuts when he kissed me. 
     He was due to leave for Viet Nam in three weeks, three weeks. My heart was breaking, as I just knew he would leave and forget all about me, silly little girl that I was. I was wrong. He told me one day that he wouldn't be there to pick me up from school and he would see me at my house later that evening. 
     He lied. 
     He had spent the afternoon with my mom and dad and when I got off the bus at home, he said, "Come on, let's go get a coke or something." 
     I looked at my parents and saw no negative looks so I put my books away and off we went. 
     But we didn't go for a coke, we went to a jewelry store where he purchased an engagement ring. We went out of the store and across the street to the Courthouse Square and he sat me down on a bench. He got down on one knee and ask me to wait for him, to be his wife. I was flabbergasted. He said he had talked with my parents and they insisted that I wait for his return for us to further discuss marriage, but I could keep the ring. The few weeks flew, he took me to my Senior Prom all handsome in his uniform and I in a white empire dress with forest green trim. We went riding after the prom, and we parked out on the lake. 
     He begged me to run away with him that night and get married in the next state over. I just kept saying, "I can't. Daddy will kill me." 
     He begged, he pleaded, he kissed me and the spine said, "YES, lets go." 
     But I was more afraid of my daddy then I enjoyed those kisses and that was quite a bit.

     The day he left is etched in my mind forever, maybe because it was the end of something too good to be true, something I wasn't emotionally ready for. Something, that sixteen and two months couldn't understand. 
     He sat on his bed with me sitting crosslegged beside him, he played his guitar and sang, "Galveston" and "By the Time I get To Phonix" by Glen Campbell. He had a wonderful voice. 
     He gave me his class ring, his letter jacket and some pictures of him. He wanted to leave the Mustang with me but my parents said, "NO." 
     There was a store on the way out to my mom's, and as any teenage girl (especially playing ball) I chewed a lot of bubble gum. There was a boy who worked there that he was jealous of. So, as a going away gift he gave me a "cases" of Double Bubble and told me I now had no reason to go in the store while he was gone. It was one of the sweetest and most unique gifts I have ever received. 
     We took him to the airport, his mom, dad, and younger brother and myself. I don't think it had hit me yet, then when he checked his bags and we went to a small corner to say our private goodbyes, I lost it. I had told him I loved him, but I don't think I truly did until that moment. 
     When he put his hand on my chin and pulled it up so he could look in my eyes he said, "Ok, sixteen and two months, when I get back you will be seventeen and three months, and I am going to marry you no matter what anybody says, and I love you with every fiber of my being. You are IT for me, and I knew it that first night when you were on the couch doing your homework, I thought to myself, God she's just a baby, but she's going to be my wife." 
     He kissed me and kissed me good. 
     He put his hands on my face and with tears in his eyes he said, "It's never goodbye with us, no matter how long it takes, it's never goodbye with us." 
     With that, he hugged his mom, dad, brother and took my hand. I walked as far as I could go with him and then he kissed me again and said, " I love you don't ever for one minute forget that, I'm always with you."
     And then he was gone...

     I wish I could say that we are now happily married with x number of kids and dogs and etc., but not when your sixteen and 2 months. 
     We wrote, and sent pictures. 
     But my parents said, "NO you told him you would wait, so you will wait," meaning I could go no where except to church, school, ballgames and straight home afterwards. 
     It was now summer and all my friends were going to the lake, to the drive in just cruising. I couldn't go. I started to resent that. I finally talked them into letting me get a job at Diary Queen cause I had an older cousin who worked there. She was to watch me. (Thanks D. you know how much fun we had...Taught me the proper way to smoke, she did...lol.)
     Well, days turned into weeks, weeks into months. I was going nuts. My sister in law in Indiana invited me up for a week or two and Lordy mercy they let me go. That was my undoing. I don't blame my sister in law or brother, I was a big girl I could have said, "naw this isn't what I want, I'm going home," but we were all young. 
     The first night there, my Sil piled my long red hair on my head in an Ann Margaret style, put one of her black dresses on me, and high heels. After the makeup was applied, I looked in the mirror and there was a WOMAN!
     We went to the NCO club on base. I was too young to be there, and certainly too young to drink, but I did both. 
     I met a young man there who I danced and drank with. He was a friend of my brother's (different brother.) 
     To make a very long (ha! you say) story short, I ended up spending the night with this young man. 
     There was no turning back. 
     We married on the 13th of September 1969 and separated at Christmas. 
     I came home to mama and daddy's house. I was almost 7 months pregnant when I went up to my brothers and sister in laws to babysit while they went out with friends. I just didn't know who the friends were. 
     I walked in their house big as an elephant and who was on their sofa? My fiancee that had left me a virgin wearing his engagement ring. 
     Now here I stood like a cow with another man's baby and a wedding ring. I wanted to die. 
     We spoke and I went on in the back room where the baby was. 
     My Sil came in to tell me to come on out, it's ok that he wasn't upset with me. He had already talked to her. 
     I couldn't look at him, but I could feel his eyes on me with every move I made. 
     Finally he said, "So, when's your baby due?" 
     I mumbled, "July." 
     "So, where's your husband? "he asked.
     "He's in Indiana, we have separated." 
     He then did the most unexpected thing that I could imagine. 
     He said to my brother and sis to go on he would stay and help me with the baby. 
     So there we were alone. I was so humiliated and embarrassed. I finally ask him if he got all his things back from his mom's. He said yes. I asked if he wanted to ring back as I had it at mama's. He said no. 
     I got up to go into the kitchen to get some milk for the baby. I had been having lots of problems with my kidneys and had been hospitalized twice, and as I stood up to go into the kitchen it hit me. I knew it was a kidney attack. I had had too many of them and knew what they felt like. 
     Before I could turn around he was there, helping me to a chair. He knelt down in front of me and just looked at me. With tears in his eyes he said, "I always thought when I saw you this way, it would be my baby you were carrying." 
     I started boo hooing. I couldn't stop. 
     He held me and told me it's ok. We went back to dating and when the baby was born he came and brought flowers and was there with me, telling me I could get a divorce and he would raise the baby as his own. 
     I knew in his heart he meant it, but I knew his mind wouldn't let him. 
     We gradually grew further and further apart. He really did try and love the baby and even changed his diapers and fed him. but, it wasn't to be. 
     When it got to the point where he was coming out once a week, then once every other weekend, I knew it was over. 
     I took my son and went to Baton Rouge, La. to visit my sister's. When I cam home, I heard the rumor of the other woman. What could I say? I had married while he was gone. 
     After awhile he stopped coming all together. I found out from reading the paper that he had married a girl he had only known a few months. But, something must have been right they are still together. 
     I see him now and then when I am in my hometown. He came to my mother's funeral and we joked and talked as old friends do. 
     As he prepared to go, I walked him to his car, and he looked at me like long ago in another time and place. 
     "Are you happy?" I asked him. 
     "Yeah sure," he said. 
     "And you?" 
     "Yes, I have a wonderful life now, with a loving husband and children and grandchildren. I am happy." 
     We promised to keep in touch and he drove away. 
     I stood there watching the car get smaller, thinking to myself, "What was the feeling that ran up my spine?" 

     Had he stayed one more minute and kissed the woman who was 43 and 7 months would she have lost the feeling in her legs? We'll never know, but, sometimes late at night when I here alone, I go out to the pier and look at the stars and apologize to a young man who left me behind to guard his love. I failed him.